I bear in mind precisely the place I used to be once I first heard “Do not Contact My Hair” by Solange. I used to be dwelling in London for grad faculty and interning at a girls’s trend journal. As I walked from the tube to the workplace, I used to be grinning listening to the music on repeat. I used to be so proud that Solange was in a position to articulate the Black hair expertise so nicely, and impressed that she took the phrases out of my mouth on what it seems like to have Black textured hair.
After I arrived on the workplace, the dialog continued. The album was the one factor we spoke about that morning. My white counterparts have been so fascinated with the document Solange produced and curious to know if touching a Black girls’s hair is as mistaken as she made it appear. To reply them, I recited among the pre-chorus:
this right here is my sh*t
Rolled the rod, I gave it time
However this right here is mine
To me, that completely explains the annoyance a few of us Black girls really feel when somebody asks to (or would not ask, however simply does) contact our hair. We would like you to know that it’s ours, that we put within the time and that you simply touching it’s a violation of our private house and the hairstyles we spend time perfecting.
For myself, and plenty of Black girls, my hair has usually made me a goal for offensive feedback and questions. Folks always ask if my hair is actual, if they will contact it, if I wash it, and a slew of different unwarranted questions. Though a whole lot of this constructed up vitality stems from curiosity and a fascination for Black hair, some questions needs to be left unasked. For that purpose, I put collectively an inventory of questions myself and different Black girls get requested about their hair — however should not.
1. “Is Your Hair Actual?”
I’ve heard folks ask Black girls this whether or not their hair is pure or in a protecting type. Though this query is invasive and impolite, I would like to give humanity the good thing about the doubt and assume they ask to scratch a curiosity of theirs. I believe the curiosity is as a result of many of our textures aren’t visible in mainstream society. White girls seem in media many extra instances than Black girls, and this invisibility sends a message that our hair is unappealing. By asking us if our hair is actual, you might be furthering this stereotype.